"You Shall Not Pass"
When I agreed to work for RMGS for a year, I was expecting a relatively easy ride - no such luck! Its not necessarily a bad thing though; after all, I've been presented with a lot of fantastic opportunities this year. Not only to develop my own skills, to to leave my mark at the school, to begin to launch my own software development company, to work with some very expensive and high power equipment, but also begin to experience "the real world".
Despite some initial reservations, all of this has however always been a stepping stone. I've learnt through the year that whilst working in ICT in the education sector is a fun and varied job, its not the career path I want to be following. To progress further I need to get my degree, and then look from there into my options in the Software Development market.
This last few months however, it's almost like I'm not supposed to leave... It's just been one thing after another at work, and I have to say the stress has been getting to me lately. Starting with Sam leaving for a better position, which promoted me to Network Manager, and then having a catalogue of disasters over the summer break; culminating in falcon, our core router, dhcp server, dns server and proxy server breaking beyond all repair; I'm starting to think its some sort of sign.
Yesterday should have been my last day, my contract has theoretically expired, however I'm going to be there for at least the next fortnight. I've had less than a week off (through holiday or absense) in the last year, and I've in fact been in for 5 hours today... On a Saturday! I've become a work-o-holic. I'll be doing another few hours tomorrow from home, fixing moodle - another delayed summer job. I was supposed to be taking a holiday, I just don't have time now. I can't help but wonder how I'm going to cope at University without constantly having lots to do. Frankly, that's what's worrying me most at the moment - not having lots to do, not being under constant stress.
Is that normal?
Stop! Internet Police
In my time at Rainham Mark as a technician I've had to deal with hundreds of incidents relating to students' use (or misuse) of the Internet. Traditionally as a school we monitor and censor the Internet on-site, this is in accordance with our Acceptable Use Policy and grants us the power to filter their content to remove anything inappropriate for school, online gaming websites and illegal content. However, increasingly, SMT are coming to me with issues that didn't occur "on-site", and are in theory totally out of our jurisdiction.
YouTube is a prime example, its actually banned on-site preventing users from accessing it, but nonetheless I am asked, as part of my job, to scan through YouTube on a regular basis looking for any videos of our students or teachers that are inappropriate or taken on-site. When I find any, I report them back to SMT and let them deal with it. My concern is though; we have absolutely no legal grounds to be policing the Internet like this.
Should we? Its a difficult question. If a student launches an underground newsletter online about the school, saying things the school don't want to be said - the school has no grounds to punish the students involved. But thats not what SMT want to hear. Imagine if they did threaten to expel a student, or even go through with it, the publicity that could be stirred up would certainly taint the school's reputation. Surely students have a right to free speech, just like anyone else? RateMyTeacher is another good example of this, students have the ability to post comments and rate their teachers, there is no slander - just students' honest opinions of people.
On the other hand, sometimes my web-policing is for the students own good, indeed for their own protection. Just last week there was an incident involving a student posting videos of themselves stripping naked at various places around the school. Do we not have a duty to protect this minor? Where is the distinction between using Internet policing justifiably to protect students, and misuse of this power protecting the school's reputation?
Results and University
After four days of celebrating finally a chance to blog my results...
AAABB in Computing, Philosophy, General Studies, Physics and Maths (that order). Pretty much what I was expecting, wasn't sure if I'd be A or B in Physics but missed it by a few marks. Still more than enough to get into Durham and my offer is now unconditional and confirmed. I have to say I'm amazed I got an A in General Studies though, unlike many other students I went to some of my lessons - but that only taught me I needn't have bothered.
You would think by the time we choose our AS/A2 options we should be responsible enough to make our own decisions about our education (after all, we have already chosen to remain in education) but the school still see's fit to force a compulsary subject upon us. Fair enough from their point of view PSHE/RE is a government requirement for all students in full time education (although in itself that now seems rather outdated) but why force us into an A Level no-one cares about and holds no value?
Woah, this almost turned from a positive post about exam results into a rant about General Studies. It's just too easy! I'll just vent that particular frustration through the student newspaper at some point. I'm not supposed to care about things like that any more now I'm no longer a student - but old habits die hard.
Yes - no longer a student! Now I have to pay to go to the dentist! Its craaaazy! Its almost enough to convince me to pay £5000/year to go to university....
It is over
Finished. Done. Fini. Beendet. No More. Really? It was not the feeling I expected on Thursday as I left the sixth form block, in the knowledge that my secondary education was over. It was with bewilderment and trepidation that I left, not the excitement and relief I had expected.
And as I sit here now, it is slowly starting to sink in that for the next 15 months I will be working full time, 42 hours a week as an IT Technician for a large secondary school, as well as working in the evenings and weekends as a Systems Developer for a massive project far beyond anything I have attempted before. Maybe that explains the unease after the last exam, its not disappointment at leaving education – but anxiety about leaving the comfort zone education provides.
In the back of my mind I know it’s not really for that long, next September I’ll join my peers at University, and re-enter that comfort zone. But will I want to? Taking a gap year was always going to be a gamble, it might make me aspire towards furthering my education, or it might give me a taste for freedom (and money) that I won’t want to relinquish. But which will it be?
Revisiony Things
AS/A2 resources for Computing, Maths (C1-C4 + M1-M2), Religious Studies (Philosophy of Religion + Ethics) and Physics can be found at http://www.r9paul.org/resources/a-level/, all work is my own unless stated otherwise.
I Gave In...
Ok so I finally gave in and got myself a myspace... Its just as sucky as I suspected, but then I had already decided I wasn't going to like it... If you're curious or alerady use it , http://www.myspace.com/r9paul [Link Fixed] feel free to add me or whatever.
On a different note, I finally finished school and its really really weird. Last few days have just been a rollercoaster of emotion, I've waited so long to be rid of school and now its actually over I can't work out whether that makes me happy or not. There are of course things I will not miss in the slightest (a certain teacher's maths lessons, for example...) but even though I loathe them, will there be part of me that misses the loathing?
Of course the main thing I will miss is the people, I don't have to wave goodbye to the building and staff for another year yet. Being a prefect I feel I'e made some really close friendships this past year. I'm going to miss the things we all do together, the random lazing about on the sofas pretending to do some work, and then the frantic organising when we realise we have 24 hours left to organise a concert, or a party or whatever.
I'm planning on setting up a keep-in-contact service over the next few weeks. Should let everyone post their details (MSN, e-mail, address, myspace, phone, uni, job, etc) somewhere that everyone else can get to. If anyone wants to be involved in that please let me know.